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1920, JALANDHAR

SITARA:

It was the first Baisakhi after the bloody massacre which occurred last year, I had turned 17 just 3 months ago and my parents had already started seriously considering alliances. All my sisters and cousins my age were already married at this ‘ripe’ age. 15-17 was considered the ideal age and I was already late for it. I was supposed to get married last year when my prospective groom died in the massacre, I had never met him but I still prayed for his soul to find relief.

I was thinking about all this when suddenly my bauji and chachaji arrived back home, with broad smiles on their faces. They were hardworking men, our income came from a kirana store passed down from generations. Maa rushed towards Bauji with curious eyes and asked him “what happened? Did they agree to it?”.  He looked at me and then turned towards my mother “yes!, they’re coming to see our beautiful daughter in a week!”. My chachiji also heard this and rushed towards me, hugging me and said “tere lie sabse sundar suit sil k dungi, ladke ki aakhe idhr ki udhr nahi hoyengi” she whispered the latter. Maa also looked at me lovingly.

We live in a joint family with me, my parents, my younger brother manraj (7 yo), chachaji, chachiji, their daughters : Meher (15 yo), Reva (10 yo), and their son Shaurya (6 yo). I also have an elder sister devika (23 yo). She got married many years ago and now rarely visits due to her 3 children and the distance. And now it was my turn, I had always known that I’ll get married one day but I never thought that this day would arrive this early. I was also skeptical about the kind of family I would get married into. I had seen all kind of families in my neighbourhood, had seen all brutalities inflicted upon the women by their husbands and the rest of the in-laws. Had also seen my bauji lifting his hand on maa on occasion. I just wished to get married to a loving and calm man who would respect me.

all this while all my cousins and my brother also came out in the verandah hearing the happy news and bauji and chachaji settled on the charpaai. Reva, manraj and Shaurya started dancing in a circle chanting,  “sitara ki shaadi hoyegi”. They were the most excited about the sweets they’ll get to eat and the clothes they’ll get to wear. Meher slowly walked to where I was embroidering a dupatta and put a hand on my shoulder. She was my best friend, my confidante, the only person who knew how I truly felt. She sat beside me only for a second before our mothers called us to help them in cooking dinner.  All four of us made the food, served it to the men and children and then had our own. Afterwards everyone went to sleep in their own rooms. Shaurya and Reva slept with Chacha chachi, manraj slept with our parents and me and Meher slept together.

Me and Meher were laying on the charpai when I asked her, “do you know what happens after marriage?”. She said “you mean between the husband-wife? I’ve heard women talking about it a bit but even I’m not sure”. I replied “even I’ve heard all that, I’m scared of being beaten up like our moms and do you remember Preet bhabhi? She wasn’t walking properly the day after her wedding and also had bruises on her hand, do you think the same will happen with me?” Meher said in a doubtful voice “how can I know that behen, let’s just hope that your husband is a kind man, Baaki sab dekha jayega” I Hummed. Then Meher turned to me and said in an excited voice “promise me you’ll tell me everything about what happens between you and him” I chuckled “haan haan zarur, jb tera number aayega na to puchungi”. Both of us slept after that brief conversation.